Following You

In today's Gospel according to Mark we read, "Peter began to say to Jesus. 'We have given up everything and followed you.' Jesus said, 'Amen, I say to you, there is no one who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands for my sake and for the sake of the Gospel who will not receive a hundred times more now in this present age: houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and eternal life in the age to come. But many that are first will be last, and the last will be first."

Peter, who's mother-in-law lived with him and in his care, left everything to follow Jesus, to feed His sheep, to the point of death. We don't hear about Peter's wife, or if he were widowed but we do know that his in-law lived with him and that Jesus healed her. Yet, Peter, in his great love for Christ left her to serve Him. It seems as if he must have had a good and trusting relationship with her and we could be tempted to say that it was easy for him to leave, even knowing what may be ahead. Healthy family relations should foster an emptying of the nest, and a willingness for us to joyfully follow the path that God has set for us. What if our relations are not healthy? What does it mean to honor father and mother if the same father and mother have not honored their children?

In my young adult days I played the role of the black sheep of the family. Ten long years of rebellion and hurting so many in my path. My mother, a Baptist, prayed for me each day of those long years and her prayers were answered but not necessarily in the way that she expected. I came back to a faith in God but still didn't know where I belonged. My husband and I ventured to a new town where he had a new work assignment. We knew very few people. It felt like we were exiled to Egypt and in a spiritual sense we were. Very slowly God was bringing us healing and a new found faith and trust in Him. Ten more years later and I found myself running to the Catholic Church; running Home.

This is not the answer to prayer that my mother or others that I loved dearly expected. For them, it may have seemed more disappointing than my being a 'black sheep'. This time in my life was very difficult, but I had prayed and studied and continued to move forward in faith, believing that if I left everything, yes, even family, that I would be blessed. It was more important for me to be obedient than not to. I spent too many years outside the fold and knew the consequences.

We have a sense of guilt when we leave what seemed to be the 'norm' of the families we grew up in. It is so difficult not only for ourselves but for them. In families that only know abuse, quite often the victim children carry an enormous amount of misplaced guilt, especially if they chose to leave and follow a path of healing and forgiveness. Discerning when to turn the other cheek is important, but it should never deter us from our path. Remember what happened to Lot's wife. Loving our parents, even abusive ones, can only sometimes be done from afar, by breaking down the walls that are really a facade, a false front, a barrier that allows us to cope and not recognize the hurt and pain of the child within. This false front is Satan's work. He desires to mimic all that is good and true to deceive us and hold us hostage to fear, in order that we will not walk in the light of truth, with no barriers. It is honoring to our parents or anyone in our lives to say no, and to build healthy boundaries. It is a good and holy thing to not allow them to fall into the same sins they have been accustomed to. Trusting them to the Lord, walking by faith on the new path set out for us is not easy but it is right and just. It is the loving thing to do.

Thirteen years have passed since I came Home. There have been difficulties; persecutions if you will. But those years have also been filled with a great many blessings. Many friends in the Body of Christ who have become family; mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers one hundred fold. I love my family with a deep abiding love. Not just this new family, but also the one I was born to, the one I have entrusted to God's tender love and mercy, and I see healing and friendship being restored, in baby steps. My dear mother sees the fruits and is now at peace with my decision to come Home to Rome.  I offer up my prayers for others who are struggling with family for any reason, knowing that God wills the best for each and every one of us. Restoration and healing will come in whatever form He wills. Forge ahead my friends. Leave everything to follow Jesus, and He will keep true to His promise. He'll make all things new. One hundred fold.