A Perfectly Brewed Marriage







Last week my husband came home from a long stretch of working out of town. It was a difficult time for him to be gone. One of our kids had been gone for a week in England that ended in a bit of sickness, making him miss his plane. Once home, this same child needed surgery (unrelated to his British excursion). Recovery at home has not gone without its bumps as infection at the surgical site set in, and this 6’2” son of ours nearly passed out. I’m happy to say that he is finally recuperating, slowly but surely. For me, it has been a time of stretching and a time of trust that God was and is working through every trial. As I sat at the computer looking blankly at messages on the first morning after my husband’s return, he quietly came over and set a freshly perked cup of coffee in front of me, hoping he had just the right amount of cream in it. I just looked at that steaming cup and cried. It was offered without my asking and was a symbol of love and sacrifice without having asked for it. It was a beautiful gesture and now as I think on this, I begin to reminisce. 

Years ago, one of my sisters treated me to something that would become an addiction to me; the joy of freshly perked coffee. Ahhh…I can hear the percolators now, each with their own voice, own personality, own strength. The very thought makes me yearn for morning to have my first steaming cup of the day. I have, since my first cup, accumulated a collection for every possible occasion. From travel perks that brew three cups to party size of up to fifty. Tall and elegant, short and squat (the pot belly is one of my all time favorites), I love them all! But not all of my memories have been sweet. Indeed, some have been downright life threatening!

One morning, early on in this new found love, I lost the little clear top to the lid of my percolator. This just could not be! I must have my coffee in the morning, and not just any coffee. Should I leave the kids to fend for themselves, and run down to Casey’s for a cup-a-joe? Or better yet, call my husband at work and have him get it for me and deliver it lights and sirens (this was an emergency)! No, that would never do. Surely I could find a solution. Frantically looking in my utensil drawer I found the perfect answer to my dilema. The turkey baster! With great confidence in my ingenuity, I took off the rubber end, and fit the thing snugly over the hole in the pot lid. Sure enough, the coffee began brewing beautifully, but for one SNAFU. Do you know that the force of those things, once they really get brewing, sends the coffee shooting pretty high and since the baste end narrows, it sends the force of the coffee clear up to the ceiling for goodness sake! Who would have thought? I did persevere though, staying well out of shot, and in time was laughing over the whole thing as I enjoyed my first cup.

Then there was the time that the cord started smoking in mid-brew. Since the smoke wasn’t at the wall plug and I didn’t actually see flames, I let the pot go till she was done. The perils I’ve put myself through for that perfect cup!

Foolish you may think I am for these follies, but sometimes going through the heat and flames is worth the end result. I see this in many things but nothing more valuable than marriage. I have watched friends marriages go through all sorts of life threatening…even soul threatening situations to the point of looking like the flames and smoke would consume them, but because they believed, because of perseverance the likes that I have rarely seen, they have come through to become a more purified image of marriage than I have ever born witness to. In my own marriage I have experienced the smoke a time or two but had we not let things ‘perk’ as they should we would never have come through to the beautiful blend that we are. I would much rather compare a really good marriage to being ‘perky’ than to a dull ‘drip’. Too many marriages rely on a quick drip. They want immediate gratification and are not patient enough or willing to sacrifice for each other to wait for the perks of a well brewed relationship. The result is bitter, not better. Even perked coffee on reheat cycle is fresh!

Silly though it seems, my perked coffee is a rather enjoyable reminder of the sacred. As every marriage is going to have it’s time of built up pressure, ready to blow it’s top, or smoke warning of coming flames, my only advice? See it through to the last perk. You’ll be glad you did. It is so much better to have the results of a great percolator than be lost to perdition. And, on perfect cue…my coffee is ready!

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