Never Let a Humiliating Moment go to Waste

Image from The Passion of the Christ

Laughter is a gift from the Lord, and never so much a gift as when He gives it in the form of humility. I believe the best, belly aching, tear shedding laugh comes when we realize our own mishaps and share them with others.

I recently attended a wedding of friends very close to the family. The weeks prior had been very busy and as the big day came closer it was clear that the busyness was only going to increase. Certain family members had their parts to play for the ceremony and I was also asked to cantor a Saturday afternoon Mass. Could I squeeze that in-between the wedding and the reception? As long as I could wear my wedding duds I agreed to give it a whirl. Father said that wedding duds would be great!

Saturday, wedding day arrived and I enjoyed a nice, long, leisurely walk with my son. Arriving home and realizing that we had just 90 minutes to get 4 people through one bathroom shower, three heads of hair to style, dressed and out the door put us into high gear. Being that the church was across the street was a great bonus and soon I had 3 of us out the door. Five minutes left to curl my hair, make-up, and put on my new dress for the wedding. I can do this! 

Just as the church bells tolled the half hour I was running into the church to grab my seat. Everyone was ready and the only SNAFU was a popped button from my dress sleeve. I felt confident that no one would notice and settled into the pew, took a breath and prayed for the couple to be. The wedding was beautiful; just a small detail delayed the start of the vows. The rings had been left at home. A quick trip by some hero guests and Mr. & Mrs. were soon pronounced man & wife.

Frantic Cantor by Reese Parquette

Running out of the church to collect my music (and cut a button off the the opposite sleeve), I dashed off to the other church across town where I would cantor. Being very self-aware of my fancy duds, I tried my best to stay 'casual'. Inside my head, I felt like a ball in a pin-ball machine with my thoughts racing everywhere.  I really needed to settle down.

The Mass went beautifully with only a few minor hiccups on my part and soon I was headed out the door en-route to the wedding reception. 'Now', I thought, I can relax and enjoy the celebration.

After the meal I excused myself for the ladies room. Grabbing my dress to take a seat (sorry for the details but this IS about humiliation) I found something dangling from the hem. What was this? 

I promise I did not steal the dress! It wasn't a security device but sure as anything was attached to the hem of my dress like one. I had been wearing this huge tag in the hem of my 'fancy wedding duds' for all of two Masses! 

After my initial panic and breaking the more than secure device off of my dress I felt it important to snap a picture of the thing. It seemed to me too good of a humiliation not to share. I've had my share of humiliating moments...which leads me to my next tale.

A couple of weeks ago I was asked to cantor for a funeral. I love to cantor funerals. It is my prayer offered up for the deceased and the family and even though I don't know most of the people who have passed, I often sense that at the Mass I have just met them in the communion of saints. 

My dear friend Jenny was at the organ and it is always a joy for me to sing with her. This funeral was no exception. As I made the long trek from the choir loft to the front of the church to sing the Responsorial Psalm, I prayed that the second reading that would come after me would be long enough for me to make the long trek back and catch my breath. 

Thinking that prayers had been answered, I made my way up the winding staircase and opening the door to the loft heard the reader state, 'The word of the Lord.' Looking toward my music stand and seeing NO music for the Gospel verse my brain went into a mega panic mode. I wish I could give you a clear image of what I looked like as I grabbed a hymnal, thumbed through pages that insisted on sticking together, waving my arms frantically to catch Fathers attention (please oh please oh please DON'T STAND UP!), mouthing to my friend that I don't have the music, and thinking I have to sing SOMETHING AND NOTHING IS IN MY HEAD! Talk about having a major brain-fart. 

Father never saw my pleas and as he stood, my dear Jenny began the intro, and as I looked at her with panic in my eyes, she began to sing. Not loud enough to hear but her lips enunciating each word clearly enough that even the most uneducated lip reader could clearly read them. As I read her lips and proclaimed the Gospel just seconds behind her, my heart racing and the vibrato reminding me of Mrs. Miller of old (look her up if you don't know who she is), my dear friend saved the day. I can't think of anyone else I would want at my side at a time like that. After all was said and done, I laughed so hard with her, the kind of laugh that makes you cry. She truly saved my rear.

Speaking of rears...

In the past I had been so very afraid of singing in front of others. Years ago when I began as a cantor, I tried very hard to refuse Father's direction to go to the front of the church to sing the Psalms. He was kind enough to give me an entire year to pray over it but I HAD to go. I can remember vividly the first time I climbed the steps to the ambo. As I turned to the congregation, knowing it would be far more humiliating if nothing came out of my mouth, I did what was so very hard for me to do. As I sang, I was horribly conscious of my muscles trembling. Particularly the muscles of the behind region. They were trembling so hard that I thought the altar boys were getting quite a show! Finally done, as I turned to leave I realized that I couldn't move my legs...they were locked. I really can't describe what I did to get out of the predicament (I think I looked like a soldier changing direction), but suffice it to say I high-tailed out of there like a deer escaping a close fatal call.

I take my singing very seriously. The gift that has been given is to be used for God's glory. If I'm not using it for Him, I'm wasting it and might as well be burying the gift in the sand. But, fear of mistakes keeps us from the work we are all called to do. And, though our work should not be taken lightly, we are also called to be joyful. Though the perfect gift be given to all of us, we will never be perfect in the execution. If that be the only aim, then maybe our pride is getting in the way and we forget that what we have been given is just a shadow of what will be, that it is the Perfect Giver who will perfect us. We only need say yes to Him. 

What are your gifts? Are you afraid to use them? Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and offer your gifts back to the One who will use them and multiply them. Expect the heart to race, and give Him all of your little all, and when you screw up or having a major brain-fart, know that He uses it all for His glory. Nothing will be wasted and the humbling will be good.

Look for the humbling moments in your life and cherish them. They are a good reminder to us that He is God, and we are not. He allows them for just that purpose. So, as I look forward to all future humiliations that are sure to come I pray, "Laugh with me Jesus! Please, laugh with me!"