Lent

Photo Credit: Betty Parquette

Every year since becoming Catholic I tell myself the same thing: "I can't wait for Lent to start." So many reasons I could list, but suffice it to say, the year got away from me again and I've got so much to let go of. So, with a sincere though feeble heart I begin my Lent with much hope for renewal of my soul.

This year is no different. I have a list of sacrifices and additions to my prayer life but what began with good intent has seemingly failed miserably...at least that's the way I see it. Thankfully God sees me quite different. 

One day while praying my rosary I felt a heaviness; a feeling of dryness and lack of...of what...being enough? Looking out my front door, the door I prayed for all those years ago that looked out to the Catholic church across the road, I felt the need to finish my prayers in the church. 

Slipping into a pew I hunkered down, feeling all of that dryness, and offering it to Jesus, with downcast eyes I continued my prayers. Interiorly I felt a call. 'Look at Me...'

Gazing up at that beautiful image of Love on the Cross I heard these words in my soul...

"I love you with the same love I had for you the first day you came here."

Many years ago I was searching for Home. I knew I'd be Catholic one day and I can only describe my sense of loss as being in Limbo. Unable to go back where I'd come from and not knowing where to go, I'd stumbled into, or at least God led me to this church's office. After meeting with the priest I asked him if I could see the main church. 

I will never forget that sense of awe...of being in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament, and looking up at that enormous crucifix. "I'm Home!" I knew it. I belonged. I was loved with an everlasting Love and I knew it.

Now, looking up, and knowing...KNOWING His love for me, for all of us, never changes. Through weariness, failures (seemingly), dryness, He is there, loving us through it all. Making all of it sacred. 

All of your pain united to His, every stumble, each dark night, all the weakness you feel, within all of that He is strong. He is Love. And YOU my friend, are His beloved.